Coffee. My Dreams

Starting a coffee shop has been a lifelong dream of mine. I was inspired to do this by the local coffee shop in my town, Jitters. Since visiting there I have been eager to become a barista. My coffee shops name will be Rock Island Bakery &Joe. Haha, just dreams and silly wanderings of thoughts. My life has just recently taken an abrupt turn. And unexpectedly it has completely changed but in a delightful manner. Yes, delightful. I now have full access to a kitchen everyday I am selling my pastries to some local stores. So, coffee hasn't entered the picture yet because I don't have store to sell from. I want to have the best coffee in Kansas. My shop will serve homemade biscotti, scones and donuts, also.

Change of Pace

So I guess I'm movin' out today.
Movin' to higher ground I guess.
My family stopped payin'
So now I'm screwed
All to my digress.
I didn't think this would happen
If I did good.

But it did.
I admit I have gone to a party or two
But what college student hasn't
Ever since my crash
I've lived under your thumb
Haven't gotten my license
or FAFSA done.
So now I'm screwed and I'm screwed hard.

Without my life here
I'll have to move back to the farm
Isolated from everything.
Or go to some convent
where you had hoped I'd be
A nun in silent confinery.

I'm done living under your Roman Catholic nose.
I'll check a flight to Belacose.

An intecedin'

I cry alone
still tryin' to find my
way back home
Been lost so long
I cant even recall
how it was before.

Someday my dreams
might come true
when I find something
which I seek to do.

Something to make me shine
but till then
I'm livin' on a dime.

Happiness and Pancakes

Pancakes remind me of happiness. Yes, the pancake has been a reoccurring symbol of happiness for me throughout my life. Every Sunday, when I was a child, my dad would heat up his George Foreman and make stacks and stacks of delicious pancakes. I can remember, on days when all seven of us were at the table their was always lots of conversation and not enough syrup. Generally, two kinds of syrup were on the table, regular maple and Smucker's blueberry syrup. The blueberry syrup was favored by all and was rather coveted by my older brothers and always seemed to have just a couple drops left of rich goodness left inside. When my family gathered on Sundays for breakfast it was always such a good unification of the family. In comparison, I think of my family like a stack of buttery pancakes because we all of interesting flavors or personalities. We're stacked on top of each other so we are all very close as a family. And the syrup is what cements us together, our love of family, good books, chocolate and coffee. So, in conclusion, I think pancakes, act as a coming together and help make family and friends. We all have our separate stories to share so have some family and friends over and make pancakes! :)

Messy Desk Theory

I have a new theory, The Messy Desk Theory. This theory is reflective of my social life. Yes, I have a messy desk right now, both socially and physically. Last week, however, I had a clean desk. Why, you might ask, I had something to be proud of, something to boost my confidence and something to ponder the future about. Well, now I don't have a plan, my desk is messy, my life is even messier. I don't know myself, maybe, I don't even have a desk anymore?

That Which My Heart Longs For

I don't know when we'll meet
I just know it will be bittersweet.
To see you standing in the carnations
smiling up at me.
A joyful smiling face
with vibrant deep brown eyes
the color of maple wood.
You make me happy
the happiest I'd
ever be on earth.
Music picks up and I hear
a melody of heart beats.
Your heart beats in rhythm with mine.


Do you know me, who your heart longs for?
Sometimes salt wets my pillow
because I long for something more.


My heart beats in rhythm with yours,
you breath in,
I breath out
You walk down the street
I walk down the road.
Throw bread for the geese,
I stay close to my abode.
During the holidays
we both watch
with grateful eyes
at or sisters
with their families.
We pray that someday,
we'll be that lucky.

You're the beautiful melody I hear in church
the glorious echo of the bells on the Sabbath.
You're as sweet as my 21st birthday cake,
with a decadent layer of rich buttercream
frosting.
Dulce frosting piped in candados,
candles too.
My well-travelled sisters light the flame and bring in the cake.
When will our flame start?

Now, I close my eyes and blow
the candles flicker and extinguish.
My wish floats up and evaporates
into the dimly lit room.

My tender heart falls easy,
so if you catch it,
don't let it shatter.